God and Suffering

I joined the Sisterhood of Cancer Survivors back in December when I was diagnosed with cancer. This was definitely not a club I ever thought I would join!  But, one thing I've been very clear about is that I want to glorify God in all that I do....even if it means membership to this dreaded sisterhood!

So I did a search and found the following quote. "God can use suffering to cause us to: 1) mature and grow, 2) to lovingly use it for a higher good, 3) to display His work in me, & 4) as a way of chiseling me into the image of Christ."

I know many people would debate that an all powerful, loving God would allow pain and suffering!  God didn't create this world to have suffering. He wanted it to be perfect, but He is a gentleman and would not override man's choice. When Adam and Eve chose to disobey, sin (and all the other bad things) entered this world. 

The good news is that God is a good and perfect parent, and He can use our suffering for His purposes!  A good parent will see to it that their child grows to their full extent in every way possible. If a child is struggling with a lesson they need to learn, the parent won't rescue that child, but will be there loving, guiding, and teaching!  Even if the parent is watching through their own tears!

That's a picture of God. He is that good, loving parent! I can't fully know or understand the spiritual realms. But He does! Maybe he allowed this, and is using it to prepare me for what lies up ahead. 

Certainly, this trial has already caused me to grow spiritually, and to have deeper levels of love, compassion, appreciation, and gratitude.   I'm also learning what's helpful (and not so helpful) regarding how to comfort others who are suffering, and learning to witness to others more effectively.  And I know He's there every step of the way, loving, guiding, and teaching.  How can I be anything but thankful?

"I'm pissed that you got cancer!  You don't deserve that!"  Those were the words of one of my friends this week.  I have to admit I felt that way for a little bit. But the further I get into this, the more I understand that our trials are truly blessings in disguise!

This trial of cancer slapped me out of the trance I was in, it forced me to make a decision.  I could continue to trudge forward, taking life for granted, feeling like it was an obligation rather than a gift, and let nature take its course, or, I could sign up for the battle by getting treatment.  

The problem was, I'm not afraid of death. I have absolute confidence that after death I will be in a perfect place that is far beyond my greatest imaginings, and at this point in my life, that place seems extremely inviting!  

So why fight?  It didn't make sense to prolong life, at great physical and financial expense, if life was just an obligation.  The only way I could justify getting treatment was if I could see life as the treasure God designed it to be!

Kathy Mattea sang a song in the 80's,” Standing Knee Deep in a River and Dying of Thirst.”  The main chorus follows.

          They roll by just like water, and I guess we never learn.

          we go through life, parched and empty,

          standin' knee deep in a river, and dying of thirst...

My experience of life is that many of us are standing knee deep in what we long for the most, and we don’t even know it's there.  Maybe it isn't wrapped up quite like what we thought it would be, so we don't recognize it. And all the time it's just sitting there waiting for us to notice.

I realize now that the thing I wasn't noticing was that love is all around me.  But because of some extremely difficult rejections, my eyes were closed to the love that remained.  So, as I stood at the cross-roads trying to decide what to do, my eyes began to open to those around me, who love me, not out of obligation, but out of an overflow of their own love of God. It wasn't a love I had to earn, it wasn't a love I had to fear losing. It was simply love for love's sake! I was standing knee-deep in it and didn't know it was there all because it was wrapped in packages I didn't recognize.

So, my dear friend, don't be angry! My world needed shaking so that I could truly see. This trial helps me know more fully God's mercy and grace, and His love for me.  I can't imagine a more perfect way to get my attention, than to have me stand where I was, evaluate, and make a decision.  

Without this trial, my eyes may never have been opened to the beauty surrounding me.  And because this isn't something I can overcome quickly, I will have the time I need to fully make the heart changes that need to be made.  I can say, truly our trials are blessings in disguise!

New Season

 Well, we are entering a new season of life! I was diagnosed with breast cancer on December 22. It seems like an unreal dream!  But this process continues, and yesterday I started chemo.   They gave me some strong anti-nausea drugs along with steroids before the chemo started and so far I feel fine!   My project this morning was to give myself a chemo cut in preparation for what's to come, and to document the blessings involved with this trail.  I hope this blog will help me keep my eyes focused where they need to be, in gratitude of the many blessings I have.  I also pray that it might bless someone else who may be going through their own trials!

The picture below is phase 1. The chemo cut. There is a lot about this cancer I can't control, but I can control this... for now..so I'm going to have a little fun with my hair!

I think most people who know me well would not say that I have too many control issues. But maybe I have control issues over myself,  thinking I should be able to control all things Cinda.   Maybe this cancer is revealing areas in my life that I need to deal with.  This cancer is something beyond my control! That may be the hardest part of it right now.  There's not much I can count on .. I don't know if I'll be able to keep working, appointments with the oncologist 3 hrs. away keep popping up, I'm afraid to eat because of the possibility of nausea. The list could go on. But I am thankful that even when I'm not in control I know who is. I know that "God is a disruptor a false peace, He is the developer of dynamic character, and He is an ever present deliverer."  I am thankful to the Lord for the work he's doing in my life, even when I don't fully understand or when I can't control the things around me...I know Who is truly in control and I can rest in that!

FRAMES

I talk to clients about REFRAMING a lot!!!  That means when we look at a picture it looks a certain way, if we change the frame we place around it, it begins to look totally different, without the actual picture changing one iota.  Frequently we look at things and place a negative connotation around them.  If we are willing to consider an alternative frame for difficult situations we can handle them more effectively! 

For example when something is taken from us, it's natural to think, "It's not fair," or,"all is lost!"  But if we continue to dwell on the unfairness of the situation, we WILL eventually go into a depression!  If instead we can think, "Yes, this is difficult, but maybe it'll open the door for something better down the road."  That thought is hope giving, and life affirming, 

What I really love about all this is that it's straight from the bible: 2 Cor 10:5 (NIV) says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 

I would love to influence people to center their thoughts (and lives) on God through this blog, but even if I can only help someone recognize that they can take their thoughts captive and reframe situations, this blog has helped!  Learning new thought habits takes time and effort, but the pay off for the time spent is of great value!!!

So why did I put up a picture of my donkey's ears???  If you look closely, you will see the cattle at the top of the photo.  This was the first ride out after training him to the saddle, to gather cattle, and I just thought that everything looked better when framed by my  MiHijo's ears!!!

Nudges

Much to the embarrassment of my family of die-hard horse fanatics, I love donkeys! I have a young donkey that I am training, and I am delighted by how quickly he learns tricks, and how to work under saddle. Lately I've been concentrating on getting him to respond to foot commands. If I nudge him with my foot on the left, I want him to move to the right. I practice with him all the time. As I ride through the pasture, I find all sorts of obstacles to nudge him around. If he doesn't listen to the nudging, I get a little more aggressive with my feet, and finally, if he won't pay attention to me, just before he goes past the obstacle, I pull him around with the reins. The other day as I was riding, I was thinking about how I want to be receptive to God's nudgings. I don't want God to have to 'get aggressive' to get my attention, I want instead, to live with my entire attention focused on Him so that when He nudges me, I will notice and obey. I am so pleased with MiHijo when he heeds my nudgings.  I believe that it is the same when you take it up several levels!  When I heed God's nudgings, He is happy with me!  THAT's the way I want it to be!!!

Puzzle Piece

As I was counseling this week, several times individuals made the statement, "if only I could understand why this happened, I could accept it." I've come to believe that one of life's hardest lessons is having faith that there is a larger picture than what we see, and knowing deeply that God is working for the good of those who love Him. I thought of this poem each time the topic arose, and I wished that I had it with me, to help clients understand, so I decided to blog it, and next time I need it, I'll have it! I hope you enjoy it.

Puzzle Piece 

by Cinda Muench

I was strolling down the road one day, pondering 'bout my concerns.
I was feeling down and lonely as I mulled on life's tough turns.

When something caught my attention from the corner of my eye,
and I paused and stopped to look at it, before I walked on by.

It was just a tiny puzzle piece, I examined it and turned it around.
Just my luck, I shook my head, at the piece of trash I'd found.

I wondered about the puzzle piece. What was the bigger scene?
Then stuffed it in my pocket as I finished my routine.

I found that little puzzle piece that night when I undressed,
but my outlook was different then, and I realized I'd been blessed!

That tiny piece of puzzle was a simple reminder to me,
that life is so much bigger than the things we feel and see.

Each thing that happens in this life impacts on something greater.
Maybe, the hard times we go through now will strengthen us for later.

Or, maybe, my sorrow somehow, will open doors for others.
We'll never fully know how we impact on our brothers.

My life is like that puzzle piece, it's value has no measure,
how strange, a tiny piece of trash could really be a treasure!

Rocking Chair

Rocking Chair 

My favorite place to sit and relax, is a big, comfortable, “cushiony” rocking chair.  The chair has pockets in the arms that overflow with all my favorite things… bible, devotionals, dulcimer, and music,.  I love sitting there just rocking back and forth as I study, read, and practice!

In many ways worry is like that rocking chair!  I have all my favorite, “comfortable’ topics that my mind defaults to when I try to relax.  My brain overflows with possible subjects…the children, finances, work.  I can spend hours sitting there going back and forth, without actually going anywhere! 

I don’t like to spend precious time worrying, but it’s an old friend, and it comes naturally… a leftover vestige from pre-Christian days!  I recognize my worries don’t solve anything and they keep me from fully experiencing God’s amazing peace. 

I can waste my energy on a useless, destructive habit or I can pray and hand my worries over to God who is infinitely more capable than I will ever be.  Truth is, I’m sure those who are the focus of my worries would be much relieved to find out that I have let them go and given them to our Creator!

 

Verse: 1Peter 5:7 (KJV) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Prayer:  Father God, I thank you for being there night and day, to handle the things that I can’t!  The beauty surrounding me daily reminds me of Your immeasurable wisdom!

Thought for the Day: The Creator of the Universe has it all under control!